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Talk To Me Like It Is 1984

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I don’t know why it started. It was like someone hit a switch, and bang everything was Flipper.

Five days a week I get up, shower, drink coffee, get on the train and go to my job as a software developer for an evil corporation. I take my seat in an “open floor plan” in sector 7-G, where I turn on my computer, take off my headphones and dial into a string of conference calls disguised as Agile work. When those are mercifully over I put my headphones back on, resume the music where I left off and mindlessly type Oracle statements to protect our customer’s sacred data from prying eyes, script kiddies, “hackers” and Russians. This is the shape of things in my world. Come tomorrow I may be older, but come tomorrow I won’t be bolder. Or some shit.

So, a bit about me. I am a woman of a certain age. I grew up in the Ohio Valley. I graduated high school in 1983. I went to a nondescript state college. I was a punker. I guess that I still am a punker. To this day I love the hyper polka beat of a snare and high-hat teamed with pick driven bass and crunchy barre chords all swirling beneath a vaguely melodic vocal track shouting a rant or anthem to decadence. Oh, and by the way, Green Day and Blink 647, or whatever the fuck they are called are not punk.

After school I got married to a guy from the scene. We drunkenly fucked a bunch after shows because I liked his DRI tattoo and I eventually got knocked up with the first kid. The guy and I got married, bought a house in a marginal neighborhood and vegetated for a few years. We produced a few more mouth breathers who dog me to this day.

The father of my children graduated from skateboards and hardcore to rockabilly and right wing politics to being a tattoo artist slash “biker.” We split some time in the 90s when I couldn’t take anymore weed, Rush Limbaugh and Johnny Cash. All during this time I had my hardcore vinyl, CDs and eventually shitty MP3s. When the kids were being brats I could always escape via MDC by headphone, crack a beer and block out the negativity. When the ex was being a stoned idiot ranting about how tattoos are “real art, maaaan”, I could go into my office and crank some Black Flag. Henry, Chavo, Keith, didn’t matter they were all great.

I have carried this hardcore habit with me throughout my career as a developer and life in general. When I have to attend a boring work conference call – headphones and DOA. Sitting on the train next to a mouth-breathing douche tool who tries to make inane conversation while staring at my cleavage – headphones and Minor Threat. Standing in line trying to order some shitty takeout – headphones and Poison Idea. You get the picture. Total avoidance of crappy human interaction and social norms. I told you that I was still a punker. A punker trapped in an early 50s female body, living in a middle class corporate world that is drowning in a sea of apathy.

One day after a waterfall call masked as a standup call, where my boss, Samyuktheswari was talking on and on about how our project is in red status and about the wonders of DevOps, I went back to my desk, slipped on the headphones and cranked some Flipper. No sooner had I begun humming along with Sex Bomb did I clock Samyuktheswari turning the corner towards my work area with that “we need to have a long pointless conversation about the project” look in her eyes.

I turned the volume down as she approached and looked up as she said, “They went down to some cheap hotel and got all squishy and wet.” I looked at her as I took off the headphones and asked her to repeat what she said, thinking that I had confused her words with the Flipper playing softly on my iDevice. She tossed me an annoyed look and said, “ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, he, he, he, ho, ho, ho, ho ho, ho, ho.” The strange thing was that her lips looked to be saying something completely different from what I heard. Kind of like watching an American movie in Germany that has German voice overs.

Samyuktheswari just looked at me like I was disturbed and started pointing at my computer screen and continued rambling on, but all I heard was, “Hey little girl, do you need a ride? Well I’ve got room in my wagon why don’t you hop inside? We could cruise down Robert Street all night long. But I think I’ll just rape you and kill you instead.” I looked up and she was staring at me, all I could do was nod my head yes and look back at my computer as she walked away.

I sat there for what seemed like hours staring at my screen wondering what was going on. After about twenty minutes I shook myself out of the daze and went to the cafeteria to grab a coke and some chips. I paid for my stuff and sat down at one of the common tables. It was populated by many of my computer geek, nerd, co-workers. Guys who work on code all day then go home and play computer games all night. Many of these guys were in their twenties, but they looked like they were approaching fifty due to their rather unhealthy lifestyles. They were mostly harmless and easy to sit with because they didn’t talk much as they ate and stared at their phones hopelessly trying to get a date on some app, or virtually arguing about Star Wars, Trek or some other nerdism.

Regis, the guy seated next to me put his phone down on the table and said, “I make decision with precision lost inside this manned collision just to see that what is to be perfectly my fantasy I came to know with now dismay that in this world we all must pay, pay to write, pay to play pay to cum, pay to fight.” I mentioned kind of shockingly that I never knew that those were the lyrics. Regis just made a squish face, looked at me like I was nuts and went back to his phone.

I got up a little bit bleary, a little weary and tossed my chip bag into the trash and my Coke can into the recycling bin. At this moment my mind was wandering to weird thoughts of how maybe I had gone insane, most likely to all the drugs I did during college, or maybe suffering from some sort of hearing damage from my years of going to shows and standing by the mains as the bands played. But, I could still hear all the background noise as I walked back to my desk. I could make out the conversations people walking near me were having. As I neared my work area I could hear Steve from product management blathering on on a conference call about whose action item was whose. Obviously my hearing was intact and my sanity still present, because I could hear the conversations and I wanted to punch Steve.

When I walked past co-worker Freda’s desk she looked up at me and smiled and mouthed the word “hi” but I heard, “wild in the streets.” I smiled at her and went back to my desk, packed up my effects and went home.

That was six months ago. I still hear hardcore lyrics any time someone speaks to me directly. I can watch watch a movie or TeeVee or speak with someone on the telephone and hear their real words. Just face to face conversation is punk. I am getting rather good at lip reading, and hearing punk lyrics instead of people’s everyday inane jibber-jabber is rather cool. I have learned to like my current situation and think I’ll just roll with it and see where it goes. Maybe, in the future I’ll end up hearing real time conversations again. Maybe I’ll hear hardcore lyrics until my death. Either way I am fine, and actually I hope this affliction doesn’t stop, because I really hate listening to people yammer on. Gabba Gabba Hey!

Keys

Sunset from a restaurant in one of the Keys.  Click pic to embiggen.

Sunset from a restaurant in one of the Keys. Click pic to embiggen.

Yellowstone National Park

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We took a trip up to the first National Park – Yellowstone, over Labor Day weekend. The drive from Denver to Cody, Wyoming where we stayed is ~450 miles. The trip north on I-25 is rather boring. Typical small Wyoming towns every 50 miles or so, with the ugly ass city of Casper on I-25 where you turn left towards Cody. Once you take the left turn on state highway 20/26 the scenery begins to change for the better. A two lane highway travels through some beautiful canyon lands surrounded by mountains and rugged outcroppings. Deer, rabbit and ravens are plentiful on this route. Use caution when driving after dark as deer and rabbit have a tendency to play suicidal games with oncoming traffic.

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We made it to the cabin on the outskirts of Cody sometime around midnight. The cabin was located on Applejack Ranch, and run by a really welcoming and nice family. When I awoke the next morning and stepped out to enjoy my first cup, I was greeted by a one dog welcoming committee named Rooster. He bounded down the dirt lane, tongue hanging out, sporting a huge grin as if saying, “oh boy, lets play!”

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We entered Yellowstone on the first day from the east entrance and then headed up through the northern section of the park. First stop was a boiling cauldron of sulfur and minerals oozing up through the ground. The earth’s crust is typically ~40 miles thick, but in Yellowstone it averages ~6 miles. We saw many buffalo, deer, ravens and geese. On the way back out we saw two wolves frolicking on the river bank about 2 miles away.

On the second day we stayed out of the park and in the stead drove up Chief Joseph highway towards Montana. Then onto the Beartooth road over the pass to Red Lodge, Montana. Beautiful! Mountain lakes, windy roads, sheer cliffs and high winds make for a spectacular drive and hike.

The third day it was back to Yellowstone for a tour of the southern section, plus a session at Old Faithful. Great scenery will blast your senses the entire trip. Old Faithful is very cool. When it finished a granny next to me said, “is that all?” I laughed. Not sure what she was expecting? Maybe a fly-over by the Blue Angels and some shitty country singer belting out ‘god bless America’?

We then exited via the southern egress point into Tetons National Forrest. Well worth the extra time back to Colorado. Yellowstone is a perfect example of what we as a nation can achieve if we set aside public lands for everyone’s enjoyment and keep the greed-heads, miners and corporations out. Go there and get lost.

More photos at FLICKR.

Lake City, Colorado

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Amy and I went to Lake City, Co for a long weekend. Very beautiful town and surrounding mountains. The Alpine Circle is a wonderful, treacherous and stupendously beautiful drive. You need a 4-wheel drive vehicle or an off-road motorcycle, llamas, sturdy horse or foot travel to complete the circle. Some of the 40+ plus miles over two separate passes are “Jeep trails”/rocky outcroppings at best.

Fished some on San Cristobal lake. Stayed is a very nice cabin on the lake. Lake City is a great place from a historical and visual sense, but there are too many Texans about for my everyday tastes. The pros way more make up for the cons though. Definitely recommend this as a destination.

You may find more of my photographs from this are at this link pics.

Oregon Coast

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California Redwoods

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Drove through the Avenue of the Giants north then south several days later. Wow.

New Mexico

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, May 27, 2015. Category: Photo. Tagged: .

Flo’duh, Could Be

St Augustine, maybe.

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Coffee Tasting

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This is by far my favorite everyday coffee. Great tasting blend of light and dark roasted beans. You can get it from Just Cofee and it benefits the only real progressive radio show out there Majority Report. Brew up a cup and let your leftyness shine.

Flo’duh

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